Building your self-confidence is one of the best self-investment you can do. Confidence comes from doing. self-confidence people have the doers mindset, they don’t just sit down think, or talk about doing something and sometimes end up not doing it, they either talk about it first then do it or they just do it.
I can summarize how to build a Solid confidence in one tip and it’s Take action. If you’re willing to do that hard work or take a step in working toward that big goal people told you, you can’t do it! you will reach that day where you can say I can, I’ll do it without the need to hear you can do it from others or though people are telling you you can’t do it because your faith is in yourself.
You will be willing to take that hard road even though you’re by yourself because you already proved yourself to yourself.
Here are the 5 most important things that will help you build solid confidence in yourself:
1. Empower yourself with knowledge
You become powerful when you educate yourself. Empower yourself with knowledge at things you are passionate about, that’s where you gain your confidence and know more about yourself.
Also, empower yourself by Improving yourself. Become good at what you do. Study regularly and improve your academics, if you are a student. At work put an extra effort into what you do. When you improve, you give yourself a reason to be proud of yourself, you prove yourself what you are capable of.
2. Accept who you are
Accept yourself completely without others’ opinions of who you are. Sit down with yourself dig into your thoughts of who you are since you were a kid.
know your flaws, your motivation, your weak point, and your strength point because when you completely know and accept who you are, you will speak about yourself in public and feel good without fearing and feeling shy.
3. Just do it
No one ever became confident only by reading confidence quotes or just talking about confidence (only if it’s fake confidence). There may be negative thoughts that pop up every time you want to start or do something, don’t listen to it.
If you want to join the Gym, just join it without thinking a lot, if you are afraid of approaching that girl you like, just approach her. You only build solid confidence by proving yourself to yourself and you only do that by taking action.
4. Talk positively to yourself
It doesn’t matter how often you talk with yourself, but every time you talk with yourself alone, make sure you elevate yourself.
If you made a mistake forgive yourself and tell yourself I’ll do better next time, if you are working on something and others are doubting and underestimating you, tell yourself I’ll do it.
Imagine every day you talk negatively to yourself e.g I’m not worthy, I can’t do it, I’m weak and that’s how I’ll be, then you will stay like this, but if you made a mistake, and you tell yourself things like what can I learn from this mistake, I’ll try better next time, I’ll do it, you will grow mentally strong and start building confidence in yourself.
Also, read: Why Confidence Is Important In Business
5. Never fake it
In today’s world, the new trick for looking confident is to fake your confidence, but it’s the worst advice. Faking will make you forget who you are, make you overconfident and create the fear of being exposed.
It’s ok to visualize your future self( strong and confident) but never fake who you are, in both cases, you wouldn’t be able to concentrate on your goals.
You’re building this solid confidence in yourself for yourself. Ask yourself do you want to be loud in the room not because you’re strong but because you fear people might start doubting your words? It ain’t the confidence you want, so never fake it but let your faith be in your ability.
Okay now you know what to do to build solid confidence and you did it, congratulation. After a while, your confidence might decrease and it’s natural but how to boost your confidence and bring it back to 100% like it was when you proved yourself to yourself.
How to boost your self-confidence
Exercise has a lot of benefits, but here you exercise to free your mind from disturbing thoughts. Doing any simple exercise (10-15 minutes) or meditating can free your mind from all the disturbing thoughts that are decreasing your self-confidence.
2. Remember who you are
After clearing your mind from these disturbing thoughts, take a deep breath and remember who you are.
You’re that person who lifted 100 pounds when a lot said you can’t, you’re that person who became an engineer though a lot of people underestimated you, you’re that person who grew a 100k channel on YouTube when some said you can’t do it.
Remember the achievements that gained you that confidence in yourself. In short, Remember who you’re.
3. Dress Your Best
For sure you’re not boosting your confidence to just stay at home. You may have an interview and you think you can’t be accepted, or you are presenting that project you’ve been working on and you think you can’t do good when presenting.
Whatever the reason when you dress your best, you feel good. Looking in the mirror, admiring yourself will boost your confidence.
4. Speak Good to yourself
Though it’s forgotten by a lot of people, in your last minutes tell yourself you can do it, there’s only you in this world and other good words. These small positive words can shut down all the disturbing thoughts that always pop up decreasing your performance.
Also, read: Can Confidence be taught
Causes of Low Self-confidence
In some situations you don’t need to boost your confidence because you’re already at your 100, but why do you feel unconfident. It’s because you’re doing things or still holding to thoughts that cause your low confidence. You can read more about the things that cause low self-confidence here.
Things that make your confidence drop:
The biggest cause of unhappiness, low self-confidence, and jealousy is self-comparison. The person you compare yourself with controls your mode. If you’re doing better than him/her, you will feel good and brag about what you’re doing.
But if he/she is doing better than you, you will feel bad though you’re doing better than how you were doing. Clap for those doing better than you but remember your biggest competitor is you. Always do better than you were doing because it’s You Vs You. Win always.
2. Physical Insecurities
Not accepting the imperfect part of you will decrease your confidence.
3. Past Trauma
Low self-confidence starts developing at a young age. If you had parents who always say shitty things to you when you fail, you’re more likely to develop low self-confidence and think you deserve the bad things.
Imagine two boys in the same class with different parents. The first boy is always appreciated by his parent for the academic work he had done (though he’s not from the top 3 students) and always motivated to do better in the next class.
While the second boy who scored better than the first but always criticized by his parents for not being in the top 3 and considered dumb for failing in some subjects though he’s good in the class.
The first boy will develop high self-confidence and believe in his ability to do better in new things though he might fail in his first attempt than the second boy. Never getting positive feedback as a child can develop low-self confidence.
But you’re not in that past anymore, whatever happened in your past that’s holding you down. Let go of it, period.
4. Bad self-talk
Sometimes it’s you who’s lowering your confidence. Though others may talk bad to you but let it be not you.