The Four Components of Emotional Intelligence with Examples

Emotional intelligence

Emotional Intelligence talks about the intelligence behind emotions and how it is a big part of life. Human emotions have evolved in a way and reached a level that is complicated and hard to understand. Just like people with low IQs find difficulty in performing well at school, solving maths problems, and logical puzzles. People with low EQs (emotional quotient or emotional intelligence) find difficulty in knowing themselves and controlling their emotions, coping with negative emotions, identifying their strengths and weakness, adapting, empathizing, settling differences and misunderstanding, team working, and collaborating with others. Emotional intelligence is important for success in life. A person can have a high IQ (with a low EQ) but still can’t do well in life. This is because to get far you have to increase your emotional intelligence, i.e., to control your emotions and overcome negative ones; improve your relationship, network, and deal with others’ differences in an effective way, be able to explain yourself clearly, etc. Emotional intelligence has four components. It’s important to work on improving each. I’ve covered the four components in this article with their example.

The four components of emotional intelligence are:

  1. Self-awareness
  2. Self-management
  3. Social awareness
  4. Relationship management

1. Self-awareness

Complete awareness of yourself and your emotions. Emotions are the keys to knowing people. If you don’t control your emotions in some situations, it can do more harm to you than the situation itself can do. It’s important to be aware of your emotions, how they affect your behavior, and your reaction. To increase your self-awareness and emotional awareness:

  • Identify each of your emotions, your reaction to it, and how it affects your behavior.
  • What makes you angry, nervous, sad, lonely, depressed, and other negative emotions
  • What makes you happy, calm, and gives you joy
  • What motivates you, and what demotivates you

Being aware of all this information about yourself is important when becoming emotionally intelligent.


Not being emotionally aware can cause you a lot of problems in your daily life. Humans are like houses with many locks filled with emotions, but the owner doesn’t own all of the keys. People can piss you off easily with words, then watch you react emotionally.
Self-awareness can make you:

  • Be aware of the emotions that lift you and what pulls you down.
  • Identify your strengths and weaknesses easily
  • Believe in yourself and your strength
  • Be more confident in yourself.

It’s important to be aware of yourself, and that includes your emotional reaction to situations to develop your emotional intelligence. All these emotions are hidden inside you. Observe your thoughts and reactions; it will help you understand each emotion. When you are aware of yourself, you move on to the second component of emotional intelligence, which is self-management.

2. Self-management

Throughout the ages, people learned how to control their emotions to get a certain result. When you are aware of what triggers each of your emotions. Learn how to manage yourself and control your emotions. You can’t avoid problems to keep yourself safe from feeling negative, but you can learn to manage these negative emotions in a way it doesn’t stop you from continuing on your path. Negative situations are inevitable.

Negative emotions have many negative consequences. Most of the time, you regret the choices you made at that time. Mastering self-management has many positive effects in life.


One of the most dangerous emotions that makes you say or do irrational things you may regret is anger. Anger is a hungry beast that consumes the positive energy inside you. It’s important to learn how to manage yourself in angry moments. Take a deep breath, count from 3 to 1 to calm your thoughts, then ask yourself why are you angry and what can you do to solve the problem you are facing.

In relationships and many situations, people let their emotions overcome them, which makes them make the wrong decisions.
People who fail in the first attempt and let the feeling of failure stop them from learning or trying again, they may regret the emotional decision they took.

On the positive side, self-management can make you:

  • More resilient
  • Stoic
  • Not easily offended with words
  • Be less emotional reactive
  • Be calmer
  • Happier in life
  • Take better decisions

With self-management, you will reach a level where you stimulate hope and positivity in your life to keep going. You become self-motivated. It’s hard, but you have to search for a positive and new way of thinking to keep going through tough situations. Writing down your ambitions and positive thoughts can give you motivation.

This emotional intelligence component focus on your borders with situations, more focused on yourself. When you are aware of yourself and can manage yourself. It’s time to move to the third component of emotional intelligence, which is social awareness.

3. Social awareness

The ability to empathize with and acknowledge others’ emotions. People trust and like to work with those who are good at understanding and listening. Social awareness gives you the ability to form new connections and maintain a relationship or friendship.


It’s important to acknowledge and understand others’ emotions. In friendship, relationship, or between family members. Sometimes, it’s hard for someone to explain what they are going through or feeling. Social awareness plays an important role. This is seen between friends, couples, and parents and their kids.

People who are socially aware of others’ emotions have:

  • High level of understanding.
  • Great listening skill
  • The ability to create friendship.

After that comes the last component of emotional intelligence, which is relationship management.

4. Relationship Management

The ability to use all the other three components to inspire others or create a relationship with the rules you want.


Relationship Management examples are seen in inspirational leaders. If you are a team head, it’s important to know how to direct your team, how to solve conflicts between the team members, how to understand team members’ different thoughts, and how to explain yourself in a way that they understands you clearly. Relationship management is important, not just for leaders. 

Relationship Management can make you:

  • A catalyst 
  • Great leader
  • Influence others
  • Be an effective team member

The need for high EQ keeps on increasing. A study by Talent Smart on job performance shows that 90% of the top performers have high EQ and 20% are low performers, and EQ explains 58% of a leader’s job performance.

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